top quotes of all time


<june> what does nuclear reactor even smell like
<june> I have no reference for this
<~gbmor> nuclear reactors smell like moose taint, according to wikipedia
<june> WHAT DOES MOOSE TAINT SMELL LIKE
<june> WTH

251: score: -32 /


18:11:00 < TechEmporium> I don't want to see any nude sysadmins playing with their floppies, man

201: score: -33 /


13:23:37 @cmccabe | hey ben
13:23:48     ~ben | how goes it
13:23:54     ~ben | happy december
13:24:09 @cmccabe | it goes
13:24:22 @cmccabe | but it is december and the snow i ordered still hasn't arrived
13:24:42     ~ben | you ordered snow? wtf
13:24:46     ~ben | i'm so glad we don't have any yet
13:25:04 @cmccabe | i love snow
13:25:13     ~ben | you should move to michigan then
13:25:26     ~ben | i've had enough for several lifetimes

95: score: -33 /


22:07:01 <cdmnky> I can see it right now, my mother walks in my room while doing system updates and asks "Are you hacking right now?"

26: score: -33 /


00:23 < TechEmporium> .roll 100 d1
00:23 < WildeBot> 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 
                  1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 
00:23 < WildeBot> Total: 100
00:23 < TechEmporium> lol
07:42 < khuxkm> nice roll nerd
07:42 < khuxkm> :P

180: score: -35 /


20:56 <mushmouth> i also ended up getting 4 games for switch. well 3 but the 4th one i'm getting at cottage because they didn't have it at the store
20:57 <mushmouth> i'm getting doom for switch
20:57 <mushmouth> as my last game
20:57 <@ben> doom on a switch lol
20:57 <@ben> i don't have one either
20:57 <mushmouth> ben: it is actually on switch and m rated
20:57 <@ben> wewlad
20:58 <mushmouth> rock hard m rated
20:58 <mushmouth> i only get hard when a game is m rated
20:59 <@ben> lol wot

25: score: -35 /


09:54  * jesopo chews on broccoli
09:54  * lickthecheese eats asian food with asian vegtable
09:55  * jesopo eats lickthecheese

177: score: -39 /


21:48 <cmccabe> pm me your swear word

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2018-07-11 22:07:01	cdmnky	I can see it right now, my mother walks in my room while doing system updates and asks "Are you hacking right now?"
2018-07-11 22:08:01	aewens	cdmnky: This is exactly how my whole family reacted any time they say a terminal window on my computer.
2018-07-11 22:08:55	cdmnky	aewens: my english teacher was a little suspicious at first of watching me take research notes in vim with markdown lol
2018-07-11 22:09:52	+jan6	https://quotes.tilde.chat/quote/26
2018-07-11 22:10:30	cdmnky	now i'll forever be immortalized by that one quote lol
2018-07-11 22:10:50	@ben	i think it's a good one
2018-07-11 22:10:58	aewens	cdmnky: My teachers we less thrilled when they saw I'd loaded Omphcrack <?> onto one of the machines to pull the admin password off of it.
2018-07-11 22:11:46	@ben	there was a challenge in undergrad to get a 000 permission file off the department server
2018-07-11 22:12:07	@ben	one of my classmates put a keylogger on one of the lab computers and got a prof's password that way
2018-07-11 22:12:11	@ben	didn't go over very well
2018-07-11 22:12:16	cdmnky	oh boy
2018-07-11 22:12:34	+jan6	o boi indeed
2018-07-11 22:12:43	cdmnky	what if I tricked someone into using suicide linux as their first distro
2018-07-11 22:12:46	@ben	o boi
2018-07-11 22:12:59	aewens	I did something similar to the lead tech teacher in my school using Chrome autofill and changing an <input type="password"> into a text field
2018-07-11 22:13:23	@ben	that's pretty ez to do in the dev console lmao
2018-07-11 22:13:24	@ben	nice
2018-07-11 22:13:46	aewens	It took about a month until a freshman ratted me out. He then required I always be on the opposite side of the room when he types in his password
2018-07-11 22:14:03	@ben	omfg
2018-07-11 22:14:06	@ben	killin it
2018-07-11 22:14:36	@ben	we had a couple macs for an ios class in the lab and i reset the root password on one of them for personal convenience
2018-07-11 22:14:37	cdmnky	I just realized, I'll be a freshman again. Let's hope I won't be as awkward as I was four years ago
2018-07-11 22:14:49	@ben	in college it matters a lot less
2018-07-11 22:15:00	aewens	My favorite trick was when I got Google.com banned from the whole school district and all learning stopped for a week since nobody knew how to browse the web without google
2018-07-11 22:15:14	+jan6	lmao
2018-07-11 22:15:30	cdmnky	remember when kde had that arbitrary code execution bug with flash drive labels?
2018-07-11 22:15:37	+jan6	...
2018-07-11 22:15:39	cdmnky	that was pretty good
2018-07-11 22:15:55	@ben	aewens: how the heck did you do that
2018-07-11 22:16:03	+jan6	that must be pretty OP 
2018-07-11 22:16:18	+jan6	also yes, how'd you get google.com banned?
2018-07-11 22:16:27	aewens	So, the school had a firewall that blocked sites like wikipedia and youtube.
2018-07-11 22:16:29	+jan6	and did you put it on your resume?
2018-07-11 22:16:34	@ben	block wikipedia!?
2018-07-11 22:16:56	aewens	So I got around this using google translate, which acks as a domain proxy
2018-07-11 22:17:03	cdmnky	*cough* duckduckgo *cough*
2018-07-11 22:17:12	@ben	oh yeah google translate is a solid domain proxy
2018-07-11 22:17:15	aewens	Someone saw me doing this and reported it to a teacher.
2018-07-11 22:17:27	@ben	omf
2018-07-11 22:17:27	aewens	So the answer: block google.com
2018-07-11 22:17:31	@ben	i like it
2018-07-11 22:17:32	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:18:01	aewens	The next best thing was when I found out they put in the domains with http://, so if you put in https:// for any site it wasn't blocked.
2018-07-11 22:18:13	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:18:14	@ben	oh yeah that was good 
2018-07-11 22:18:15	aewens	So they then blocked ALL https sites
2018-07-11 22:18:17	+jan6	1337 hax
2018-07-11 22:18:24	@ben	nooooo that's Bad
2018-07-11 22:18:30	aewens	I know right?
2018-07-11 22:18:34	+jan6	block all https:// problem solved
2018-07-11 22:18:48	@ben	no ssl aaaaaaand done
2018-07-11 22:18:51	aewens	Yeah, the school techs were not a fan of my work.
2018-07-11 22:19:00	@ben	:D
2018-07-11 22:19:07	+jan6	well, you better put that on your resume or something
2018-07-11 22:19:25	aewens	Also, if you are ever on a shared network, check out what people put in the public directories.
2018-07-11 22:19:40	+jan6	"managed to block google.com in school, steal passwords, block all of https"
2018-07-11 22:19:57	cdmnky	https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/linux/its-2018-and-you-can-still-p0wn-your-linux-box-by-plugging-in-a-usb-stick/
2018-07-11 22:20:07	+jan6	pff, what?
2018-07-11 22:20:13	@ben	wew
2018-07-11 22:20:22	cdmnky	it's a bit dated, already patched
2018-07-11 22:20:56	aewens	They also kept an excel spreadsheet of every student's name, address, phone number, and social security number on the public directory
2018-07-11 22:21:10	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:21:15	+jan6	dumbos
2018-07-11 22:21:16	@ben	no fricken way
2018-07-11 22:21:32	aewens	So I copied that, and it was really fun when they made every login be your first_last name and the password be your ssn.
2018-07-11 22:21:40	cdmnky	aewens: It's stuff like that that makes me wish there was a law that allowed students to request a privacy audit
2018-07-11 22:21:51	+jan6	^
2018-07-11 22:22:05	@ben	srsly
2018-07-11 22:22:14	aewens	So I wrote a python script that logged in as every user and send a spam email to all the teachers.
2018-07-11 22:22:19	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:22:27	+jan6	I bet they KNEW it was you instantly
2018-07-11 22:22:29	@ben	fkyea
2018-07-11 22:22:48	cdmnky	aewens: you should go into cyber security lol
2018-07-11 22:22:59	aewens	Nah, I did it from a friend's house, so it wouldn't come back to me
2018-07-11 22:23:03	+jan6	what you should have done was DDOS the school's own servers, lol
2018-07-11 22:23:18	aewens	Well, I almost did, but I died laughing when I saw it.
2018-07-11 22:23:29	aewens	It sat in a classroom on a file cabinet.
2018-07-11 22:23:45	aewens	It had a keyboard and mouse with it, and was running Windows 7.
2018-07-11 22:23:49	+jan6	and yeah, if you ever apply at a security position, you'll have pretty good experience to show, lol
2018-07-11 22:24:03	cdmnky	you know what the worst part is for my school? ALL districts in the county used the same server for everything but student accounts
2018-07-11 22:24:12	+jan6	...
2018-07-11 22:24:14	cdmnky	it was slow af
2018-07-11 22:24:16	aewens	They couldn't keep it from following asleep and shutting down the server, so they put a tape dispenser on the space key to keep it awake
2018-07-11 22:24:33	+jan6	lmao
2018-07-11 22:25:38	aewens	Another fun story was I was looking at the grading system's login prompt, they encrypted the passwords to the server using an MD5 implementation in javascript.
2018-07-11 22:26:02	+jan6	sooo
2018-07-11 22:26:27	aewens	I was looking to see if I could exploit that in some way, and one of the freshman were telling the web server teacher about this.
2018-07-11 22:26:36	aewens	Here's the problem: they didn't say who was doing this
2018-07-11 22:26:42	+jan6	good lad
2018-07-11 22:27:02	+jan6	good way to cause panic
2018-07-11 22:27:08	aewens	So they called me to their office to ask me to write a new grading system software for them since the current one was being hacked by a student
2018-07-11 22:27:19	cdmnky	oh nooo
2018-07-11 22:27:21	+jan6	XD
2018-07-11 22:27:26	+jan6	did you do it?
2018-07-11 22:28:07	aewens	Well, they decided to first have me re-do the school's home page while they talk to the higher ups to approve me working on a new system
2018-07-11 22:28:42	aewens	I told them I didn't have time for that, so they invented a class for just me so I could work on it on school time and get an auto A from that block hour
2018-07-11 22:28:54	@ben	omf that's awesome
2018-07-11 22:29:07	aewens	So I finished the website in one week, then watched game of thrones for the rest of the semester in that class.
2018-07-11 22:29:08	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:29:19	+jan6	that's legit amazing
2018-07-11 22:30:16	aewens	Do you guys remember jailbreaking iDevices?
2018-07-11 22:30:26	cdmnky	yeah
2018-07-11 22:30:50	+jan6	jailbreaking didn't go anywhere?
2018-07-11 22:30:59	aewens	Another thing I did in school was I made a side business of jailbreaking devices for $20 from those who wanted it done.
2018-07-11 22:32:18	cdmnky	My school last year started blocking sites on the free guest wifi, so I taught people how to use a VPN and the admins were pissed. No one know I did it though...
2018-07-11 22:33:00	cdmnky	I never noticed it tho 'cause I always use VPNs on open networks
2018-07-11 22:33:14	aewens	Something fun to do at parties: Test to see if they changed the default user/password on their routers.
2018-07-11 22:33:26	+jan6	^
2018-07-11 22:33:33	cdmnky	o shit, i gotta do that
018-07-11 22:34:18	cdmnky	my mother always hates me messing with dns settings because she thinks that messing with router settings is illegal
2018-07-11 22:34:19	aewens	Almost no one changes the factory credentials. I logged in and would just randomly blacklist people from the Internet.
2018-07-11 22:34:35	cdmnky	same thing with adblock and custom built computers
2018-07-11 22:35:00	aewens	I'd turn it back after a moment, but it's funny watching your tech friends freak out when you hijack their own network
2018-07-11 22:35:58	@ben	lmao
2018-07-11 22:36:01	+jan6	lel
2018-07-11 22:36:13	+jan6	"tech" friends
2018-07-11 22:36:24	@ben	don't sound like very tech friends
2018-07-11 22:36:28	+jan6	^
2018-07-11 22:36:44	aewens	They were mainly people who liked computers and liked to tag along in my shenanigans
2018-07-11 22:37:18	+jan6	tell me moar of yar she-nani-cans
2018-07-11 22:38:07	aewens	Oh, let's see. The public directory on the school network was always a source of fun.
2018-07-11 22:38:22	+jan6	why was it public anyway?
2018-07-11 22:38:31	@ben	good question
2018-07-11 22:38:41	aewens	We were never assigned computers since we were all given a folder on the network to put our stuff into.
2018-07-11 22:38:54	+jan6	of course
2018-07-11 22:39:08	@ben	oh same
2018-07-11 22:39:10	+jan6	network folders = way better than personal computers
2018-07-11 22:39:13	aewens	It was a network drive. When you logged in you were automatically mapped to X:\<whatever>\aewens
2018-07-11 22:39:18	@ben	but you shouldn't have access to anything but your own share
2018-07-11 22:39:27	+jan6	^in theory
2018-07-11 22:39:31	aewens	ben: You'd think that, wouldn't you?
2018-07-11 22:40:04	aewens	So, they went with "security through obsfuscation". They hoped no one would look where that folder actually mapped to on the X:\ drive.
2018-07-11 22:40:18	+jan6	lol
2018-07-11 22:40:19	@ben	lmao
2018-07-11 22:40:20	@ben	nice
2018-07-11 22:40:26	aewens	I took a look one day and saw I could go into any user's folder.
2018-07-11 22:40:45	+jan6	any users folder?
2018-07-11 22:41:16	aewens	So I would go into people's folders and write some text files to make an adhoc PM service.
2018-07-11 22:41:25	+jan6	heh
2018-07-11 22:41:27	+jan6	nice
2018-07-11 22:41:48	aewens	And if a bully annoyed me that day, I'd go into their folder, create 100 folders that contain 5 layers deep of folders.
2018-07-11 22:42:03	+jan6	nobody ever dared to annoy you ever again
2018-07-11 22:42:04	aewens	One directory held their classwork, let the games begin
2018-07-11 22:42:10	@ben	omf 
2018-07-11 22:42:16	@ben	directory roulette
2018-07-11 22:42:23	cdmnky	did you ever do that thing where you shut down the entire network with a two line batch file?
2018-07-11 22:42:28	@ben	you'd just have to look at the sizes 
2018-07-11 22:42:30	@ben	but yeah
2018-07-11 22:42:33	+jan6	you sure were the god of the tech
2018-07-11 22:42:43	+jan6	nah, cdmnky, how'd you do that?
2018-07-11 22:42:50	aewens	You think the average student knows how to lookup the size of a folder? xD
2018-07-11 22:43:30	aewens	Anyways, it was also fun that the teachers used the same directory.
2018-07-11 22:43:59	aewens	I'd every now and then check to see what they had planned, see if they kept any answer sheets there, etc
2018-07-11 22:44:17	+jan6	you sure had lots of fun
2018-07-11 22:44:42	aewens	I got done with classwork fairly quickly, so I had a lot of free time.
2018-07-11 22:45:26	@ben	and of course, they did
2018-07-11 22:46:10	aewens	There was one day I came in early and wrote a batch script that was a fork bomb and replaced Chrome with it on all the machines.
2018-07-11 22:46:17	+jan6	lmao
2018-07-11 22:46:21	@ben	omf no
2018-07-11 22:46:30	@ben	that's just griefing for griefing's sake
2018-07-11 22:46:31	+jan6	how much did you charge for the "repair" ?
2018-07-11 22:47:02	aewens	I didn't they just decided to make a free-hour while they send the school techs in to fix it.
2018-07-11 22:47:39	@ben	oof
2018-07-11 22:47:49	aewens	The trick is that most teachers didn't know this was all me, and thought this was all from various different students.
2018-07-11 22:48:04	cdmnky	this calls for an aewens appreciation thread
2018-07-11 22:48:05	aewens	So I tended to get away with most of this since I was not a suspect.
2018-07-11 22:48:45	aewens	My friend would take credit for the stuff I did, so I let him so that I was not the one under a watchful eye
2018-07-11 22:50:16	aewens	These days I've moved over to hardware gizmos. Did you know if you modify an esp8266, you can create a wifi deauther?
2018-07-11 22:51:04	aewens	It can fit in an altoid's can and you can walk into any place with wifi and drop all users off that network on command.
2018-07-11 22:51:25	@khuxkm	i swear
2018-07-11 22:51:35	@khuxkm	when this channel is active it's really active
2018-07-11 22:51:43	@khuxkm	but when it isn't it's pretty much dead
2018-07-11 22:51:57	aewens	Isn't that how all social gatherings tend to be?

-topic change-

2018-07-11 22:57:08	aewens	What's everyone else up to?
2018-07-11 22:57:11	cdmnky	I've been sshing in from my laptop, if I copy the keypair to my desktop, will I still be able to ssh in?
2018-07-11 22:57:48	aewens	cdmnky: The pair in keypair is important
2018-07-11 22:58:07	@ben	cdmnky: yes
2018-07-11 23:07:56	aewens	I keep mine stored in a jump server that's powered off until I send an API call to power it on. It's got lots of other security, but I prefer it to be offline to prevent brute force stuff.
2018-07-11 23:08:37	aewens	I keep a script on all my devices that can access it's API.
2018-07-11 23:11:21	@ben	the key fingerprint or the entire key?
2018-07-11 23:11:25	+jan6	how's the API working if it's offline?
2018-07-11 23:11:29	+jan6	that means it's not offline
2018-07-11 23:11:35	aewens	Either, both
2018-07-11 23:12:01	aewens	jan6, it's a digital ocean droplet, so I use their API to bring the server online.
2018-07-11 23:12:51	aewens	If you wanted to do this with actual hardware and not a DO droplet, you'd get a server with an IPMI chip and use it to power on the machine.
2018-07-11 23:12:52	@ben	derp
2018-07-11 23:12:57	@ben	right
2018-07-11 23:13:34	aewens	That's how my customers remotely power on/off all the nodes in their HPC systems.
2018-07-11 23:13:46	aewens	IPMI is a weird but really awesome thing.
2018-07-11 23:13:50	@ben	oh nice

- ending topic change -

2018-07-11 23:13:56	@ben	aewens: what state are you in again?
2018-07-11 23:14:08	aewens	I'm in MO
2018-07-11 23:14:52	@ben	aka misery
2018-07-11 23:14:59	@ben	amirite
2018-07-11 23:15:00	aewens	And you're in MI, right?
2018-07-11 23:15:24	aewens	Yes, misery, at least that's how the senator says it
2018-07-11 23:15:36	@ben	yup
2018-07-11 23:15:41	@ben	mizurruh
2018-07-11 23:15:53	@ben	that's an alternate pronunciation right
2018-07-11 23:16:04	aewens	Yes, a popular one here too

29: score: -39 /


14:09 <~ben> i love my x1 carbon
14:10 <mushmouth> nice ben
14:10 <mushmouth> do you have a t420?

55: score: -40 /


justus> Me and all my homeschooled friends in Wisconsin definitely listened to all this stuff ;)
justus> *All my homeschooled friends and I
justus> Thanks homeschooling

235: score: -41 /


13:31 < dustboto> ・゜゜・。。・゜゜\_o< QUACK!
13:31 < khuxkm> ,bef
13:31 < BitBot> [Ducks] khuxkm befriended a duck in 60621.72 seconds! You've befriended 6 ducks in #bots!
13:31 < khuxkm> HOLY SHIT

184: score: -41 /


<+alex11> had to turn it off during ludacris
<+alex11> but yeah
<+alex11> controlfreak++
<+controlfreak> cant bealieve butsruff went quiet
<+controlfreak> i thought that was right in the sweet spot on the inanity meter
<gbmor> alex11: oh so when the luda came on you had to ... Roll Out?
<gbmor> (☞゚ヮ゚)☞
<+alex11> FUCK you
<gbmor> (☞゚ヮ゚)☞
<+alex11> my week is ruined

262: score: -42 /


22:18 <@khuxkm> hey jayden
22:18 <@khuxkm> I wanna show you a magic trick
22:19 <@khuxkm> wanna see it?
22:19 < jayden> khuxkm: i have a new way to distribute malicious linux scripts for mass destruction ;)
22:19 <@khuxkm> but do you want to see my magic trick
22:19 < jayden> yeah
22:19 -!- cow2020 [jmw2020@tilde.team] has quit [A TLS packet with unexpected length was received.]
22:19 -!- jayden [jayden@jmw2020.TILDE] has quit [The TLS connection was non-properly terminated.]
22:19 -!- jmw2020 [jmw2020@tilde.team] has quit [The TLS connection was non-properly terminated.]
22:19 < xfnw> lol khuxkm oper abuse!
22:19 < anelki> lmfao
22:19 < hackintech> is a gline a magic trick
22:19 < hackintech> asking for a friend
22:19 < anelki> lmfaooo
22:19 <@khuxkm> no but a killall -u jmw2020 irssi is

236: score: -42 /


22:47 <khuxkm> ben: fix the description you zipper

20: score: -42 /